Floating, Drifting, Waiting

I am no longer in motion. Summer is almost here and for the first time in months I have free time. And I have no idea what to do with it. I am just floating, drifting, waiting. I am senseless and emotionless, waiting for something to come and wake me from this numb dream. I am waiting to be reminded of who I was when I loved life and wasn't cynical and bitchy. I am waiting for someone to show me that I can fall in love instead of helping the guys I like to get their girls (although I don't mind this truly, because they are happy and that is good and usually I feel relieved they don't like me, even though I've always known they don't). I am frozen in time. Everything that I do is simply a time filler, something to keep me going until I do find that burst of orange smelling sunlight that will wake me up from this comatose state. I feel my dreams in front of me and I can remember that past but I am suspended in between, almost as though there is no present. Idling, dreaming, sleeping, hoping, waiting, drifting, floating.