Clarity

I finally learned my lesson. About the Green Eyed Demon. That is the boy who I thought I was in love with, no not the one from Hebrew school. The one from middle school, my best/ex best friend. I spent all this time trying to get his attention. Trying to make him realize how much he needed me. Because I felt like, maybe, if he realized how cool I was, I would realize how cool I was too. The only time I had realized my potential was when I was talking to him. But I am really awesome without him. I know my potential. I am so full of potential and hopes and dreams. And if he doesn't want to return email messages or phone calls or come to things I plan, that is truly on him. My tears are wasted. Cause he is not MY perfect guy, or A perfect guy for that matter. He is the G.E.D., he is human. He still has a lot of growing to do. And sure he's pretty cool, but I'm not gonna try to force somethign that might never happen. I am ok by myself. Same thing on the Hebrew School kid. He is sweet and pretty gorgeous and he is stubborn as hell and so similar to me, but I like him as a friend. Or not even as a friend. He's just a cool pic. At least I have a type, I guess, now. I like athletic guys. I like guys who are like me, stubborn and argumentative and opinionated (but not wrong) with a good sense of humor, easy going cause I am a girl and have mood swings. But right now, I quite like me.