I am sitting at home experiencing the curse of being female: cramps. There is seriously a small world war going on in my stomach. I ate nothing all of yesterday and could not stand up straight. I couldn't even drink. So for all you guys out there, when you think we gals have little pain tolerance, think again. You try spending more than 24 hours when your insides are beings twisted about and punched and pulled every which was while trying to stay civil. It doesn't happen.
Anyways, whenever I stay home sick, I always end up feeling rather lonely and contemplating love...even when I really REALLY should be doing homework. Because when you get sick, at least when I get sick, that is when I want to be missed. Of course I want to be missed all the time, but it gets kinda annoying if there is no real reason. My grandmother just passed out this week in a restaraunt. We spent the night arguing (my family) about her going to the hospital. She was sick and she had everyone around her and it made her angry. Will I be like that? When I am emotionally sick, I just want to be left alone, except for that one person who I am still looking for. I want that person to be there, but for everyone else I put on a brave face. I am so scared. Because when I start to give my heart away...the pain is enormous. A friend of mine is putting her dog to sleep tonight. Like that. You get complascent, and stop remembering how awesome it is to have a companion around until they are gone. Am I really so afraid of the end that I will miss out on the journey....sigh. Well I should do homework, postpone contemplating the journey. It hurts too much anways.
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