We made it to state and *ahem* choked. I love field hockey. We deserved that win. We are better than anyone, really and truly, and we lost. My heart hurt so I just kept going, kept trekking because then I wouldn't remember but for five minutes before I turned off the light, I just was lying in bed staring and feeling my heart hurt, trying not to cry. Because, as my good friend says, "Sports hurt your heart". Field hockey is what I love most about school about life. I don't start, it's been a while since I have played, but it doesn't matter because I am part of a team. We have gotten up early to practice as the sun rises, we have stayed late. We practiced on weekends and ate breakfast together. And as we stood in that circle before we began our last warmup, we all cried because this is what the sport is about. I love field hockey.
In terms of love? Well. As always my brain says one thing, my heart ponders it for a second and then goes on and does whatever it wants. That means I still like Hebrew boy despite all the reasons I shouldn't. And I know he has a crush on someone else. I need to know because then whenever I decide that him glancing my way means he likes me, I can remind myself. We are friends though. We talk a lot on facebook but I don't have any classes with him. I think it would be easier if I did because the more I am around him, the less the aura of excitement stays around. I know he doesn't like me. The only reason I like him, I think, is because it's tradition and because there is no one else. I hope I start dating in college. I mean I haven't even had my first kiss! Or first date for that matter, haha. Ah well, waiting seems like the best way, instead of *ahem* forcing it.
I have applied to my first college. I have 7 more applications to do and tons of scholarships. Rehearsals for Fiddler on the Roof begin soon. I am Chava, the youngest of the three most important daughters. I can't wait because I get to sing a song lalalalala, although the acting part...haha, well I'll actually work on my character this year. And I get to fall in love with this kid who I just talked to for the first time yesterday. He is a sophmore. It's awkward to fall in love with someone you know, but generally worse when you know nothing about them. GOD I hope we don't have to kiss.
The perfect moments with your friends are the ones when you are laughing for a long time, starting out with it being funny and then continuing because you love laughing and your friends are laughing and you are just happy.
Friend drama is...abundant. Last year we had a huge group of friends and I was in charge along with Elizabeth and Jomama. We had tons of power, astonishingly, and tried to use it for good, but really, whose good? Ours. Well WWW had always been under jomama's thumb (not necessarily on purpose) and this year she left our school and I renounced my power out loud and Elizabeth...well I suppose she did too in a way. So WWW (wicked witch of the west) finally got the power she had never had and she craved from having an abusive mother, absent father and friends who got more attention and more say in everything that she did. And it's gone to her head. To be fair, how could it not? Anyways, she has two boys, Arrogant and Stupid, who worship the ground she walks on. Arrogant brings her things all the time but if she had to choose one it would probably be Stupid who she dated last year (he's not really stupid, he just doesn't think before he makes decisions. Arrogant really is arrogant). But she takes advantage of them and has converted Turtelina, usually very neutral, and started including her in the group. Anyways, they started uninviting Elizabeth from things and ended up losing a lot of their friends (at least temporarily). They were having a Halloween party and invited everyone but uninvited California Designer and Elizabeth, and everyone got mad. It ended up being just the four of them. I have been pretty vocal about how I feel about all the situations, although (hopefully) have not been taking part in too much of the drama. I don't know. Oh highschool. But I am pretty happy because all MY friends are confident and interesting and strong and independent and down to earth, which is nice cause I got so sick of people like Jomama and WWW who always need your validation. Bleh. Anyways, Life goes marching on....
(p.s. I might use different names for people. Mama's girl is WWW, slong is Turtelina etc. my bad)
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